The Delivery Route Story, or How I Worked My Butt Off for Nothing

Like most screenwriters, I don't typically zip through writing a script all that fast. Usually for me, it's a good few weeks to a few months of development (read: jotting down notes at random in a Word doc, getting on Facebook too often, staring at my computer screen in depression, and having a eureka moments or ten while I'm cooking dinner or brushing my teeth...), then around three-ish weeks to get the first super rough draft done, and then revisions for weeks until I feel like it's perfect, only to be told by several people for whom I have varying levels of respect that it sucks in one to several regards and needs reworked.

All in all, each script usually takes me at least a few months to get to a place where I start to feel good about it, and a totally unknown number of months to get to a place where other people agree with me on that.

From what I hear of most other writers who don't have a deadline (or even better, money!) hurrying them, my process and timeline are pretty typical.

So when, one day this past May, a film industry acquaintance of mine sent me an email about a "great opportunity" to enter a free contest that was seeking ultra low budget COVID-friendly scripts, with the deadline in a couple of weeks, I immediately wrote it off.

I had nothing in my arsenal that was even remotely fitting for what this contest was looking for. And, despite the fact that it was being put on by a reputable company that has a solid track record and even some star power behind it (let's call them, uh, "Traveler Entertainment"), I didn't think at first that this was really something I should pursue.

But then inspiration struck unexpectedly. Slowly over the course of two days, as I went for a run, took care of (and occasionally ignored) my kids, and did lots of other uninteresting stuff, I was beginning to think of a scenario, of an immature college-aged guy who unexpectedly has to help his ex-girlfriend birth his kid over video chat. And I could give it the double entendre name of Delivery Route, since it's about both delivering a baby and a guy learning how to grow up and leave behind his immaturity through the birth of his kid.

I got feedback on the concept from a couple different people, reworked a couple elements of it, and suddenly I was cranking out a ninety-page screenplay in a few days.

It was the hardest I've ever worked on a screenplay (even harder than that time when I was in grad school, working twenty plus hours a week at Starbucks, planning a wedding, and trying to deliver the second draft of my work-for-hire feature script on a deadline).

With the June 5th contest deadline looming, I wrote for hours at a time while my kids were in bed. I wrote at the time of day I usually devote to my freelance sidegigs. I wrote when I normally indulge in like a half hour of TV time before bed.

And amazingly, I had the first draft done in about four days. I had a greatly improved second draft completed in another three days. I spent a couple more days writing a third draft and polishing it.

And then, after rushing through a bunch of supplementary materials this contest asked for, I was ready to submit it. With a couple hours to spare before the final deadline, I hopped onto the website, only to find...

Bam! This huge popup telling me that they'd decided to extend the deadline an entire month.

I was so pissed I wanted to scream. My husband was all like, "What's wrong? What's the matter?" I just showed him the stupid screen.

I ended up using a couple weeks of the extra month to get feedback on the completed script from my writing group (it made them laugh out loud and legit cry, so I guess I was on the right track) and do another polish draft.

Unfortunately, my grief didn't end there either. You'd probably guess that I did not win or place in the contest, since I don't have a brag about it anywhere on this website. But worse than that, the company failed to announce winners on the date they'd said they would. No email, no contact of any kind.

I finally looked them up on Facebook and saw they said they needed more time. Sigh. Okay cool. I continued watching their Facebook page diligently for days. Until finally, almost THREE WEEKS after they said they'd announce, they have this snazzy press release with professional photos and long bios of the winners.

I was quietly furious. And felt pretty slapped-in-the-face, to say the least. Though it did little to appease my fury, I left a low-key comment on the Facebook post that said something like, "Congrats to the winners! Although a 'Sorry, you weren't selected' email to all the other entrants would have been nice."

To add insult to injury, they finally sent out a rejection email a few days after that. Gee thanks for letting me know, guys.

My only consolation is that I have another solid script in my portfolio. And I guess a pretty good story about its beginnings that I can tell at its premiere one day.